sleep.

I’ve slept so much these past days, I hope I’m catching up. Mommy wants to come this week, we’ll see what happens 

It was 8 30 when her text woke me up…that lady is murder. Back to sleep.

yumi.





I’m at yumi yogurt. It’s been a long time since I’ve waited for Mack at work.. I guess a lot of things have changed. I wanted him so bad before and now i’m just comfortable with where I am.

I like it, this nostalgic solace.
I like remembering the days I had to play the game.
And I love where I am now, with all these new faces at school.

I never noticed how caged I felt back home, but in college I can do anything and make friends with people that didn’t exist in millbrae.

I love Celia Wong.
I love Jolie Chan.
James is hilarious.
Michael is fun.
John is sarcastic, but he works hard.

I miss Nikki. A lot.
And I need to see Kai more. Much more.
Mack

I’m happy.

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あなたの彼氏は...

最低と思います。
可愛くない，頭がわるい，良い所いない。
じゃ、何で？

君もバカじゃん。


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

eighty-six.

I have a midterm in two hours.
I better ace that shit, so I don’t have to worry about disneyworld.

talk to you later.
love, cece

Edit: that shit was hard, no lie

out with the old.

Wow.

I guess it has been a really long time since I chronicled anything about my life. I find that a little sad, because even though my schedule is easy and I am constantly on the computer it took me a month to bring myself to jot memories about my new place in college(and I guess I’m doing this now because Mack reminded me to).

I really wanted to blog regularly, damn it.

A lot has stayed the same. A lot has changed. But one thing’s for sure, I like Berkeley. I didn’t at first and when I compare it with USC, it feels really shitty. I still like it, though. I mean, this is my new home and it’s a place where people compete and push for the top. I want to get there. The top.

I’ve always been pushed by passion and ambition. Motivation and dreams. Life and future. So I really cannot understand people that just waste away without those things. People tell me maturity and transition to adulthood is when they search for those things. I never though I was mature, but in this sense, I know where I am going with my life and how I plan to change the world.

Some people don’t think the same.

I don’t have much hope in humanity. I am a very optimistic person, but if I were faced with a tree’s life and a person’s life, I wouldn’t save the person. People disappoint like no other species. And their carbon footprints are ridiculous. It’s depressing knowing some people just waster their lives away. But it’s even sadder knowing that the majority of this “advanced” race work hard for their whole lives just to die without making a change in the world. Without ever proving that they existed. And it gets worse. There are people that are selfish enough that all they want to do is die. They contribute nothing to society and think only of themselves. In the end, they didn’t exist.

I know I think extreme, but those people are useless existences. They’re the kind of lives that should be sacrificed so that more purposeful ones can live. Ever think of the terminally ill child who wanted to become a vet? Or the soldiers in the army who could have been doctors? The teenagers in accidents that would have grown up to improve agriculture and the food issues of the world. The kid from a third-world country that would have become president.

It makes you question, what the hell are you doing with your life?
Is it worth it?

Even the best people I know, disappoint.
Maybe my standards are too high?
Maybe my requirements are too difficult?

Maybe I was born knowing what I wanted to do.

running with the wind.

I am a runner; and every time I go on my twelve mile runs nature is alongside me. As long as I have been running, the world was with me when my breath fogged the morning air. When no one else would wake up early to strap on a pair of running shoes, I can depend on the azure blue sky and passing Eucalyptus trees to keep me company. Nature is my best friend, my motivation, and my peace. But it was not always that comfortable.

To be honest, I hated running. I hated the outdoors. The sun burns, the bugs, the allergies. Who in their right mind would forfeit parties and afterschool field trips to endure painful training on a heated track? To step onto a rubber desert on summer days when normal people were swimming? Who gets up hours before it’s time to go to school to battle chilly winds? To battle storms and rain, even? Well, not me. At least, I did not do any of those things before high school. I had actually been a slave to art – something entirely opposite of athletics. In middle school I spent all my time drawing and coloring while many others experienced the world outside my easel. My pale skin and frail frame were weak to sports, susceptible to stress, and detrimental.

So imagine my surprise when I stepped outside my comfort zone and scrawled my name on the cross-country sign-up sheet my freshmen year. High school was my reincarnation; it opened my eyes to new possibilities. It took me into the realm of running and the world of Mother Nature. High school was my second chance to discover a passion I loved. I will not lie; the first few months were gruesome. All I could think about was the pain and how badly I wished to quit. But no matter how harsh the workouts were or how desperately my lungs screamed for oxygen, I stayed. After weeks and weeks of ridiculous damage to my body, I still could not leave – track was my new home, and I had to keep on. And I cannot express how thankful I am that I did.

Cross-country changed my life. I always cherished art, but I was suffocating in its solitary confines. Running renewed my passion and freedom, as well as my love for nature. When I had gotten accustomed to exercising outdoors, there was almost a nostalgic contentment being one with the environment. Experiencing life outside reminded me of my sunny childhood, the one I had forgotten when my parents divorced and I traded in my mud pies for watercolors. Though art had been my lonely distraction from my dysfunctional family running in the outdoors slowly became my solace as well. Mother Nature was there to hold and caress me when my own mother could not.

To me, running and nature have saved me; they caught me when I fell deep into depression and could not get out on my own. They dissipated all my worries and stress, while giving me an escape from the problems I faced daily. And when nobody else can, this beautiful entity called nature sways and smiles to my singing as I jog through the woody trails. Nature has always been there for me just outside my door, but it will not stay that way for long. Environmental issues are becoming difficult problems for our industrialized world to handle and our globe is dying by our hands. This nature that has helped me cope and mature is deteriorating. I want to save it. I want to save what has helped me most throughout my life and given me a dream.

A dream to save the world.

A dream to continue running with the wind.

cancelled.

Gerald Roland is the head of the Economics department that sponsors my financial wealth class.

The one that was cancelled and left 150 students scrambling for units and impossible reader refunds.

The one that was my favorite class.

Dear Mr. Roland,

I am a first-year at Berkeley, so all of this is very new to me and I
apologize if emailing the head of department is not allowed. I hope this
will be read.

I signed up for Professor Wycliffe’s Accumulating Wealth DeCal class to
fulfill my units as an undergraduate full-time student. I depend heavily
on financial aid because I have a single mother. I had reluctantly bought
the required $60.00 reader, but now that the class is cancelled I wasted
that money.

It is to my knowledge that the Economics Department plans to do nothing
about the 150 students in the class and the purchased reader. It was
difficult for me to get classes this semester, much harder now that it has
started. I really loved this class, so I even signed up for Professor’s
other class which will also be cancelled. I do not know what to do. Like
any Berkeley student, I am constantly stressed and this dilemma adds to my
disappointment.

I always thought Berkeley was a place where students had endless
possibilities and resources. It was a place of culture and freedom. It was
the school that people chose even if they got into Stanford. The classes
are great, Professor Wycliffe’s are awesome! I always worked hard in
school, but this is the first time I enjoyed it so much. For the first
time in my educational career, I am passionate enough about a class to
fight for it. I really do love his classes and his teaching, so please,
please, please see if you can do anything to get it running again.

Sorry for the long email, I know you must be drowned with work.
I sincerely want to keep my hope in Berkeley and the democracy it stands for.

Thank you,
Cecilia Chu

adrie.

My posts have been really short.

I share a lot when I need to express myself nowadays with my friends, so maybe I am somewhat not having the need to blog as much. But I should still make a healthy habit. This blog is almost proof that I was alive! And it helps me better my writing, I hope.

loneliness.

It is a such a strange feeling…That empty, hollow emotion of being the outcast, the one that’s by themselves. You can feel alone when you are surrounded by multitudes of people. When you walk through crowds of fresh places and new faces, you feel more alone than you ever had before.

What’s a million friends if none of them keep you from being alone?