LET IT GOES CAUSE YOU CAN'T TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME

July 23, 2010

IDK where I should go to get my ears pierced. I should’ve went to Industrial when I turned 18 a couple months ago where I could’ve gotten them done for free. -_- Now I have to shell out like, $20 or something just for someone to poke a hole in my earlobes.

I need new shoes too. And I need to get my CM hemmed cause like, 34 inseam mostdef does not fit. I am so happy though cause they’re new, raw, and like, $13.

( :

I think you should suck it up and pierce everything at once. Skip the ears and hardcore punch holes in your cartilage and face. Do it, do it.

By the way, the Cheap Monday? I have that denim, I think. Got the 27 x 34, but I needed to hem it like 3-4 inches. The tailoring place on Allston and Oxford is highly recommended! Make sure you ask for tapers or else they’ll only hem. Tailoring is only like $10, the jeans for me were like $60. It was definitely not just $13 and high waist sucks, but I’m starting to like it a little more. If you have the cash, pure blue makes really nice purple-indigo raws.

:) yay for art in fashion.

“Whoever said you needed to go off to college to be losing touch? College doesn’t change what’s there, it amplifies what you couldn’t see.”

— Graduation

July 22, 2010

Another month, another anniversary.
After about two weeks of pure freedom and countless fights, Mack came over last night to celebrate our make-up talks and anniversary. I probably shouldn’t be announcing this to the whole world, but I’m… — *Another month, another anniversary.*

After about two weeks of pure freedom and countless fights, Mack came over last night to celebrate our make-up talks and anniversary. I probably shouldn’t be announcing this to the whole world, but I’m sure some people can relate. I mean, everyone can’t be in that picture perfect relationship they portray to the rest of the world, right? Fairytale relationships can’t possibly be that common. Lovers must fight, even if just once. Then again, I might be trying to be very optimistic about my sometimes dysfunctional love.

Our relationship for the past few weeks has been rocky and offbeat. We’ve already gotten close to quitting twice now. Relationships are hard, fucking things to deal with - especially when everyone else expects you to be happy and stay together. I wonder how people deal with those pressures? To be honest, I am terrible at keeping my emotions inside and my fights personal. As ridiculous and illogical as this sounds, I have no problem bitching my boyfriend out in front of his friends. I don’t really give a fuck if it’s public. But it does bother me sometimes to know we’re definitely not “Bella and Edward” (LMAO, totally had to).

Society puts too much weight and admiration for the faultless, cute relationships of Hollywood. Although we have moved so far forward, there are still subconscious stereotypical roles the world expects mates to play. The woman should pretend she’s absolutely fine and in love with her boyfriend, until they are in private. And the man needs to exert his power and control over his woman and be the alpha male, until he gets whipped back home. Couples must show the world they are equal and perfectly loving to each other. But, it’s never that easy, at least not for me.

I think people of this planet should treasure relationships like Summer & Tom. You don’t have to be Bella & Edward to be a couple. You may have fights, you may have faults, you may not be vampires. But at least, your relationship is true. Your relationship is real - a love that makes it so damn worth working your ass off for.

So although we fight like every other day, argue on the phone, and even wrestle and scream, at least it’s real. In the end, the couples who don’t quit, are the ones meant to stay together. I don’t want to be that quitter. But, enough on reflecting I really wanted to talk a little about July 14th, 2010.

After pulling myself out of bed to go to class, I came home to a sleepy, hungry boy. We grabbed pizza at Jupiter’s - we have been meaning to try that - and took BART down to Embarcadero. My legs are sore from walking everywhere, but the day was fun. Saw a lot. Ate a lot. Bought fatty sweet strawberries. Got a delicious soft serve cone. I used an oxygen bar today. It tasted weird, but super clean like fresh air on the mountains. Crab at the pier is fucking bomb (and fucking expensive), so thank you Mack Siu for an eighty dollar dinner. I love how we are so not cheap.

Happy seventeenth, boyfriend.

July 15, 2010

Furry.
I should really be running errands and doing my homework, but unfortunately tumblr is calling to me to reflect. My recent posts haven’t been very deep, so I guess it’s a good thing I took off work today to get all my things done. … — *Furry.*

I should really be running errands and doing my homework, but unfortunately tumblr is calling to me to reflect. My recent posts haven’t been very deep, so I guess it’s a good thing I took off work today to get all my things done. And heal my tired body, of course. I’ve been more busy than usual, but I think a main reason I haven’t posted much is really because I’m not sure how to put my recent thoughts into words. As often as I am open, these past weeks have been rough for me emotionally and sharing my relationship with the rest of the world, just doesn’t seem too right.

I sent my jeans to the tailor for hemming, my varsity to the cleaners (eco-friendly of course), and got to run to the gym, and then off to practice. I’d say it was a pretty good day, except for the fact I missed out on money for work.

Then again, what is the point of money if it can’t bring me happiness? Despite being able to have a solid job, I find myself slowly falling into a slump - like feelings of pointlessness and mediocrity are overwhelming my mind more and more each day. After only seven months at what I consider my first job, I find myself repeating, “I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.” Denial, much? And here I thought only adults and old people were miserable. I feel as if as generations get younger, they also get unhappier earlier. I mean, the new standard is going to be a Master’s degree! If people of the world spend their existences learning in schools, when do they actually live?

When do we actually start to live?

I am someone who lives to learn, but this “slump” of mine is opening my eyes to reality. I may enjoy learning new things, but school is not going to help me live my own life. Make something of my own existence. So recently, I have been questioning just who I am, what I am doing, and if any of it is worth doing. If any of it is worth living for.

I never feel like I’m doing enough.

July 14, 2010

“Actions speak louder. Than. Any. Word. Could. And pictures? Worth a thousand.”

— Lee Chool Ra

July 13, 2010

winners & losers.
This was my most hilarious picture of last week.
The day at the beach with all of my future roommates and their boyfriends was a definite success. Although my shoulders somehow got a little burnt in the foggy weather, all the g… — *winners & losers.*

This was my most hilarious picture of last week.

The day at the beach with all of my future roommates and their boyfriends was a definite success. Although my shoulders somehow got a little burnt in the foggy weather, all the games and laughs we had were definitely worth it. I ended up taking an insane amount of pictures as well. I really should start investing in more equipment for photography.. There are just so many memories I want to remember!

I’ve been posting short ones these days, but life really does catch up with you sometimes. I’ll try to make the next few longer.

Time moves too quickly.

July 11, 2010

nana & hachiko.
“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your frien… — *nana & hachiko.*

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
— Marilyn Monroe

You can’t just have a boyfriend. That is never just enough. I thought I only needed one person in the world to make me happy, but I am perfectly okay with sharing happiness among two or three or even four other beautiful souls. One day, I hope to be able to illustrate the colorful lives that we have led together, the story of nana & hachiko.

**I love my best friend.**

July 09, 2010

ジム

July 08, 2010

ミルブレーのジムに可愛くてかっこいい男の子を見たんだ。。

それとも強くて日本人だ。

かっこいい人、だれですか？

dear girl. →

July 07, 2010

It’s a little crazy if you ask me, but who asked me? He calls me and texts me all night long when he should be on the phone with you. He tells me he hasn’t stopped thinking about me (though we haven’t even talked in days) when he should be thinking about you. He tells me I was REALLY his BEST…

There are always times in life when it bites, hard. And you have no choice, but to stare it in the face and accept its truths. Because it isn’t always all about rainbows and daisies. Happiness and kisses. There are obstacles, adversities, and just some fuckers out there who are out to get the world.

I get called out a lot because I speak the blunt truth. And while it may sound mean, it may be the cold, hard reality you actually need to hear.

Honesty is the key, so deal.

You just being by my side saves me...

July 06, 2010

(via keisukeheru)

Sometimes, I wish that was all there is. That that was all you could say to make everything better and all your dreams come true. That that one person could make you invincible.

Maybe it only works for some people?

June 29, 2010

I’m getting really tired of school.
And I’m slacking a little already. It’s probably because I miss home and my friends often, so my mind gets a little dazed. At times like these, I wish I wasn’t so goal-oriented and restless - I c… — *I’m getting really tired of school.*

And I’m slacking a little already. It’s probably because I miss home and my friends often, so my mind gets a little dazed. At times like these, I wish I wasn’t so goal-oriented and restless - I could have had a wonderful, relaxing summer lazying at home. I didn’t have to do anything, but hang out with my closest friends and clean my house or something. I would have had all the time in the world to run and bike as much as I wanted.

This real-life shit is seriously getting on my nerves. Go to school, go to work, go home, cook, go to sleep. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I really hope that the day when “I’m all grown up” I won’t lead such a boring life as this. As hard as it may be, I need to have a job where I can be outside absorbing the rays of the sun, being among the beautiful things of the planet. I don’t want a boring office job, where I can’t even tell what time it is outside. I can feel myself slowly rebelling against what my parents expect of me.

Maybe I will live the life of an artist, one tattoo and piercing at a time.

June 29, 2010

I bought a really expensive gift.
I like to buy presents. I like being first, even more so. So naturally, I want to buy the best, most fantastic present for those that I love. I refuse to fall short when it comes to buying the best thoughtful gift. … — *I bought a really expensive gift.*

I like to buy presents. I like being first, even more so. So naturally, I want to buy the best, most fantastic present for those that I love. I refuse to fall short when it comes to buying the best thoughtful gift. But you know that feeling you get when the loved one - whom you so desperately sought out to shop for - is let down? Yes, that terrible, terrible feeling. Like your gut is being wrenched out and drowned in disappointment.

Even after hours of research and planning, I still made a mistake. After setting up a plot to get the measurements, transferring $300 to make the purchase, spending another $70 to make the story believable, another $80 to ship it internationally, I may have gotten the wrong size. The perfect present that cost me half a thousand dollars and all my brain power, is going down the drain with my poor, little heart.

I hate myself when I am disappointing, I can’t stand it. Another failure to add to my overflowing sighs. My period really makes me pessimistic…

Sorry for ruining your birthday.

June 29, 2010

It’s kind of something that doesn’t really go away, does it?
Sometimes I wonder if I really want my tumblr to just be open to the public, or if I should stick to my nature and keep it secretive. Yeah, right. Honesty is always key, as iro… — *It’s kind of something that doesn’t really go away, does it?*

Sometimes I wonder if I really want my tumblr to just be open to the public, or if I should stick to my nature and keep it secretive. Yeah, right. Honesty is always key, as ironic as that sounds. Honesty is a mantra that I strongly live by - the way I have tried to live the majority of my life.

So, naturally, I hate people who are fake. Who hide things. It just really makes me go off. Out of all of the million things that get me angry, this is by far one of the ones at the top of my list. You want to know why our world is corrupt? Lies. Lies about tobacco. Lies about money. Lies about drugs. Lies about global warming.

Lies don’t just disappear, they don’t go away.

So although it doesn’t make any sense for me to have incredible dislike for someone who hasn’t hurt me personally, I don’t really give a shit. If you are that person that fucks up and lies - you’re going to fucking get it. I’ve said this before: My best friend told me she admired my ability to forgive. But again, only a handful of people get that luxury.

You’re nothing close to being forgiven by me - you cheater.

(via mymomentum, halesyeah)

June 27, 2010

Sometimes, I really just want to murder my boyfriend.
Why is it that all of my closest, most intimate relationships become the most warped. It’s as if the more I love a person, the more I grow to hate their flaws and insecurities. Mind you, I … — *Sometimes, I really just want to murder my boyfriend.*

Why is it that all of my closest, most intimate relationships become the most warped. It’s as if the more I love a person, the more I grow to hate their flaws and insecurities. Mind you, I am a terrible example for a girlfriend, best friend, person in general. But I try to be a good person, being sensitive and careful with what I think and say just isn’t a trait that runs through my blood. Like many of the common attributes I seem to lack, “logic” doesn’t make sense to me. I’m fucking abnormal and my wacky relationships are an obvious result.

**I want to dump you, you stupid doofus.**

Except there’s that nagging feeling in the back of my head that doesn’t let me say it out loud. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried all those times of frustration and anger. I’ve typed it so many times through fights. LET’S BREAK UP. I’M DUMPING YOU. GO AWAY FOR GOOD. But it never happens, I don’t go through with it. God damn this dependency on a significant other’s adoration. God damn the attachment. God damn this bullshit called love. You haven’t cheated or anything, but sometimes you’re just too fucking ridiculous. Maybe I haven’t cut the cord yet (or have I?), but I have a feeling when and if I do, I won’t look back. Because I don’t need a dick to make me happy. Fuck you, I’m bisexual. And as angry and tormented as I am, I am still glad to know:

That I would always be strong enough to fight for what I believe in, with or without anybody’s approval.

mymomentum:

bigsmoochfromelle:

the cycle of love :)

June 26, 2010

I haven’t forgotten about my lists yet.
I ran four miles yesterday before frisbee practice and it really made me open my eyes just how much I need to train for the marathon I signed up for in October. I have not been on track lately, I really … — *I haven’t forgotten about my lists yet.*

I ran four miles yesterday before frisbee practice and it really made me open my eyes just how much I need to train for the marathon I signed up for in October. I have not been on track lately, I really need to follow my summer goals and plans. I’m hanging out with Brenna in my co-op, and while we’re talking about all the stuff we want to do, I remember the list I made last month - that I really need to follow.

I bought cheap monday raw denim and the varsity jacket I’ve been wanting, so I can finally cross a few things I have completely given up on my list.

But there are some things I absolutely have to do.

*To give up:*

*soda (gave in a little today):*

~~*fast food (in-n-out doesn’t count)*~~

~~*taco bell (;_;)*~~

~~*buying clothes*~~

~~*fancy dresses*~~

~~*souvenirs*~~

~~*buying text books (waste of $$)*~~

***oily foods***

*cake and pie (O_O”)*

***biting my nails***

*being mean to dede*

~~*facebooking everyday*~~

*To start:*

**marathon training**

***triathlon training***

*daily biking*

*~~daily ultimate frisbee practice~~*

***saving & investing money***

~~*throwing away useless things*~~

~~*minimalistic lifestyle*~~

~~*studying everyday*~~

*reading a book at least once a week*

***dieting & healthy food habits***

**~~TANNING.~~**

theworldwelivein:

The Grotto (by Stuck in Customs)

June 25, 2010

Well, Cam & I weren’t really planning on announcing our random field trip to the world, but so many people have found out already I might as well write about it.
Saturday, June 19th 6:40pm.
I got two more piercings.
They don’t match with my best… — *Well, Cam & I weren’t really planning on announcing our random field trip to the world, but so many people have found out already I might as well write about it.*

Saturday, June 19th 6:40pm.

I got two more piercings.

They don’t match with my best friend like my industrial does with Kai, but in a way I feel like that makes more sense. Not that we ever make any sense, but we have a habit of never doing things the same. And I like having a relationship where I can fully be myself and have the other fully be themselves.

I’ve noticed a strange pattern, I never ever just get one piercing at a time. When I was two I got both my ears pierced. Fifteen, with cam, my first cartilage and two more lobe piercings. Sixteen, two more cartilage piercings in Hong Kong. November of last year, navel pierce and another lobe. May, two piercings for my industrial. Saturday, a nose and a lip.

I wonder what it is about punching holes in my body that gives me such a thrill. Maybe it’s the love of spontaneity? I honestly haven’t given a lot of my impulsive trips to parlors much thought.. But it’s probably the relief I feel when my explosive emotions dissipate with the punctures.

I must be a very angry person. Or at least, confused.

So after all the holes, whats next? We’ll probably get tattoos soon. But we’re not going to just get retarded shit like tramp stamps or Chinese names. They’re going to mean something and represent the rebellious, impulsive lives we live.

Life with meaning.

June 23, 2010

Hey, you.
Yeah, you in the tacky shoes. They don’t fit your stubby feet. And really? Those fucking pants are signs of tasteless fashion. Then again, its perfect for you because you’re the kind of asshole that doesn’t know what he h… — *Hey, you.*

Yeah, you in the tacky shoes. They don’t fit your stubby feet. And really? Those fucking pants are signs of tasteless fashion. Then again, its perfect for you because you’re the kind of asshole that doesn’t know what he has and takes everything for granted. The asshole that is so outwardly nice, but in reality is all selfish and greedy. The kind of bastard that makes the world believe he is a good person.

When he’s not.

I thought I was gullible, but I’m usually pretty good at spotting fakes. I can see through you and your disgusting fat. While many may be decieved, I’m going to open their eyes. Your bitchy ass needs to get beat.

If only someone would have the balls to get rid of you. Turn you into garbage. Dump you.

I’m going to erase your existence.

nicolasdelavy:

violent femmes

June 23, 2010

narcissism.

June 21, 2010

It’s hard for me to love people who are already in love with themselves.
And only themselves.

You’re not that fabulous, but nobody is shady enough to open your eyes.

Don’t make me put you down.

happy sixteen month anniversary :)
After coming back from my tournament, Mack came over to my co-op and we walked to gregoire’s for a quiet dinner.
It was an unexciting day, but we got to spend it together.
It gets increasingly harder to remem… — *happy sixteen month anniversary :)*

After coming back from my tournament, Mack came over to my co-op and we walked to gregoire’s for a quiet dinner.

It was an unexciting day, but we got to spend it together.

It gets increasingly harder to remember anniversaries months after they have happened..I should post them sooner from now on!

June 15, 2010