life is a road.
take it.
I love having a pretty best friend.
Again, I can’t imagine choosing a best friend that is hideous. You were unfortunate to have been stuck with such a monster. I’d rather feel equal to my life partner than have to assert my insecurities having the “ugly friend”. I mean, what does that say about you?!
Your taste. Your likes. Your reflection.
Yeah, that makes you ugly if you have an ugly best friend. Too bad; I was lucky in choosing my own best friend. Side note: she is mine, don’t fuck with her, I can’t save you. Don’t hurt her, I will kill you. Don’t steal her, she’s mine.
Like two halves of a confusing, messed up whole.
But we like it that way.
(via xoxocatchup)
why is she so fucking hot?
I wish I could meet the real blake lively and not just love her as serena from gossip girl. I read an article about how smart she was and how lofty her goals were, sounds like a girl I would like to look up to. Tall, beautiful, ambitious, talented. That’s not who I am. So who am I right now?
I’ve been dealing with a lot of problems in friendships and fall-outs. After reading countless emotional diary entries and blog posts, it really makes me wonder how immature I really am.
This sounds depressing, but it’s really just a self-reflection.
I need to change, I really am god damn immature. The funny thing is, I typed “insecure” in place of “immature”, that really says something. I feel like I work so hard, accomplish so much, and deserve to be praised for it. So what happens when I don’t get that pat on the head? That medal of honor, that name on that plastic wall?
I throw a tantrum.
I am so insecure that if I don’t feel like I have been awarded, no one should get that pride. Princess syndrome, much? I really need to back off out of people’s standards. Just because they have different goals and different things that they praise, it shouldn’t have anything to do with me. It’s retarded I get annoyed when people think they’re doing so much, when I don’t think it’s anything. It’s stupid I think I am so elite. That’s bullshit. Maybe the things I do don’t mean jack shit to someone else. Then what? I’m the loser? It shouldn’t have to be that way.
Everything is a competition.
But it doesn’t have to be. I love competing, I love winning even more. But to put people down because of my own securities in feeling like a failure? That’s something that should not be allowed, so I don’t understand why I accept this about my fucked up personality.
I am so far from being this beautiful, talented woman.
I don’t usually think I am insecure, like so many girls I know. But in terms of achievements, I always feel like I’m falling behind. I always feel like I have a shorter list and have to compare with those that are even shorter because in the end, not everything can be put in a list or written on paper.
How hard your classes are? How well-paid your job is? How good you are at Sports? Medals? Honors? Paychecks?
Fuck that. Live life.
(via le-sugarmonster)
happy thirteenth anniversary.
Know what’s weird? It’s supposed to be the fourteenth, but it’s the thirteenth anniversary on the thirteenth. And I guess that is an unlucky number, because it wasn’t a perfect date.
Okay, I admit it. It was my fault for wanting to hang out with my lovable best friends when we had already had something planned. It was my fault for thinking you’d understand my ridiculous thoughts and ways and come find me when you’re supposed to. It was my fault our thirteenth anniversary, well…
sucked ass.
But after all that fighting and all that stupid, useless drama, we ended the night alright. Or maybe I just love crepes so much, they make me ridiculously happy. Crepes and then the best korean bbq ever at korea house. So good!
And that was the end to our thirteenth month.
I can see the sunset from my room.
And I think that is a beautiful thing. Sometimes I open all the blinds and windows wide and just watch the sky fade from blue to red to violet. It’s a calming thought knowing that no matter how chaotic life throws you around, the sun will always set and will always rise.
I find comfort in watching the sunset.
God, I miss my friends.
I really took my bunch of friends in high school for granted. College is a lot more on your own, solitary independence. I want my babies back! Not that I ever really hung out with my boy constantly at school, but in a way I like being free from constant boyfriend buddying. And my friends? That’s kind of something I don’t need to be free from.
More and more ex-independent people i know have become glued to their significant others, and sadly forget about their friends. You know there’s a problem when the only person you’ve hung out with for the past half year is your boyfriend. Or when your girlfriend is busy and you end up having nothing to do. It’s funny, because half the time you’re just having sex anyways, so it’s not like it’s vital time you need to spend…
Maybe I’m a hypocrite and I hang out with my own boyfriend too much. But then again, I don’t go to school with or near him. Other than the weekends where I don’t have tournaments, most of my time is school, work, frisbee.
I love my boyfriend. I think we have crazy fun all over the world.
But I love my friends and miss the hell out of them.
Here’s hello to you guys.
The fact that this is my mother, or the fact that she is prettier than me.
edit//
Okay, there are actually a couple of good things that come out of my semi-milf mother.
You know how people are super cute now? Well, they might not grow up and stay that way. And some grannies used to be super cute? Well they aren’t anymore. So I guess the question is, will you be cute when you get older? And does it even matter?
Live beautiful and die young. Or grow old and die beautiful.
What’s the point of preserving beauty? You were young once, your time is over. Accept your wrinkles and spots! But then again what’s the point of trying so hard to be beautiful now? If people only see your made up exterior, then you’re hiding who you really are. Is society worth impressing that much? Is beauty worth the premature wrinkles, acne scars, and heavy eye bags?Live young and die beautiful.
I think when I get older, I’ll look different. Hopefully and drudgingly, I want to age as well as my mother. I don’t want to become short, chubby, & stout. I don’t want to be a fat house wife or a squishy soccer mom. I want to be tall and beautiful. Maybe a milf, haha.
I want to be like my mother.
That is the only time you will ever hear that from me.
I’m starting to really like photography.
I mean, yeah, it’s ridiculously expensive and is totally an art form to blow money on, but a picture a day says a lot. I don’t have much time to draw anymore because of work, so photography is an easy way out to still be called an artist.
I’m digging the macro and hdr shots at the moment. Now I just need lenses, sigh. There goes my next two gee’s. Not.
I hate saving money sometimes.
I really want Louisiana chicken pasta. Mack! Make our date come sooner!
Time for another reflection on life.
And my first problem: money. God, I really need to save the money I work to earn! I have blown so much moolah on food and movies, I really need to watch my bank account. I feel like hundreds of dollars have just slowly flown out the window because I buy what I want, what I need.
Although, I feel like I have been holding myself back from my usual shopaholic tendencies, maybe it isn’t enough. Maybe working maximum hours just isn’t enough? I need to save, I really need to save money. I can’t allow my wallet to get any thinner, despite wanting to buy a new wallet.
I hate how money makes the world go round.
I’m really starting to love frisbee and my team.
Truthfully, I did feel out of place and ostracized on the frisbee team. I didn’t fit in, I didn’t know where I was, and I refused to allow myself to open up. But, I really do love these girls. They’re each fun and hilarious, bonding time has really made me work and try harder in frisbee. Although they aren’t up to the love of my track team yet, I have to say I enjoy their company and I love going to practice to sweat with them during drills. I don’t have a track team anymore, but I found another family.Who needs a sorority, anyways?
I don’t want you anymore. Please leave me alone, you make everything worse.
“It’s so fucking annoying knowing I am a caged bird. A caged bird who loves to fly.”
I took that shit.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
How did they get this from nine questions?
life is a road.
take it.
god damn it.
I am a busy girl. And right now, I really need to get my priorities straight and get used to this schedule. Every time I add something new to my already full load, my entire time management business gets fucked up and that really pisses me off.
I hate it when my plans get messed up, they are plans because they’re supposed to be followed! My schedule is now consisted solely of: school. work. studying. frisbee. running.
I no longer have time for art in this crazy schedule, and though I am making about $800 a month, is it worth giving up my hobbies? I just got a new camera, a new tablet but I haven’t spent the time to practice much on them. I was supposed to make a bomb ass portfolio while learning all the technical aspects of photography and set up an art store, so that I could gain credit to do commissions. I was supposed to study up economics and business so that I could make residual income from my prospects. I was supposed to do everything I wanted to do.
I am not going to let this to-do-later list get the best of me. After these fucking back to back to back midterms, I’m going to take care of this shit.
So fuck you, Berkeley.
I’m not planning to just sit here and study all day.
p.s. it gets annoying when people tell me how “easy” their media studies classes are or how “difficult” their humanities papers are going to be. How tough their schedule is and how much they are doing and accomplishing in their lives. nobody has time for anything, so stop wasting mine and get on with your “multitude of tasks” I have my own shit to do.
I hate midterms!
my picture has nothing to do with my post.
But, here goes.
Okay, I’ll be honest. Well, not honest..you would know this if you talked to me. I am a radical, I think very black-and-white (sometimes grey). I guess that’s one of the reasons I don’t want to be a business major or an art and fashion major. I don’t want to be a photography minor. I don’t want to be an economics major.
I understand why people would want to study something they love. I understand they want to pursue their passion. It’s not that I don’t respect those concentrations, but I feel like those are things you can succeed in without a major or a title. Why get an MBA and work for someone else when you can start your own business and gain your own valuable experience? Why get an art major when all you do is follow someone else’s rules, someone else’s style when you could be making your own masterpieces. Picasso didn’t need a teacher, and neither do artists - photographers included.
But something keeps bothering me.
Why do people keep pushing for me to be an art major? And sometimes, I really just want to follow that instinct, pick up my pencil, and never look back. I want to commission, I want to design, I want to create. I want to…
I want to save the world.
I realized that I didn’t add my second blog post, well here it is.
It’s not as harsh and crude as my other blog posts, though.
__________________________________________________________________________
Indian Boyhood
A lot of Indian Boyhood is dispelling the myths “civilized” people have of the
natives and providing readers with a firsthand outlook on the real lives of
the tribes. Eastman basically says, “I don’t like how people think that
Indians do this..” and then tells it like it is; he lets us know what
actually goes down. And what else can we do, but be surprised at just how
much like us they really are?
So the passage says, Matogee was a natural humorous speaker. Natural
humorous speaker? Matogee was a comedian.
There is a common misconception that Indians are always serious and
solemnbecause they constantly fight to survive. While it may be true that
theystruggle for life, they still enjoy it. No matter how tough the obstacles
they face, the Sioux still need laughter and humor in their lives to go on.
And I think that this is true for anybody - whether they be Indian or
African or Martian - you need laughter to feel alive.
The light hearted stories of Hadakah’s memories were not only entertaining
and mildly ridiculous, it forced us to see that Indians aren’t very
different from “civilized” people. They eat, they work, they talk, they
laugh. Their ways of teasing and joking with their brothers and sisters
aren’t very different from the burns we dish to our own friends. And
honestly, can’t you imagine the native circle telling stories and smoking a
bong? Of course you can! Because we follow that same ritual in our college
frat row - making fun of pledges, getting high, pissed drunk, and really,
just having a good time.
And while we don’t battle bears and hunt wolves, we also need relief from
our own issues. Everyday we’re faced with pounds of reading, insane
competition, bickering hobos, extreme weather, and freshmen thirty. My
stomach, Bernadita, has come to haunt me once again.
Oh dear, I’m getting off topic.
What I’m trying to say is, Eastman wrote this book to show people that
Indians aren’t really those strange creatures in the forest. That they are
people and although they don’t have computers or cars or skyscrapers, they
are people - a civilized people.
And they have hilarious stories.
anniversary.
Happy Valentine’s Day…
It is our twelve month anniversary.
Espestus Churraccia Brazilian barbeque was the bomb diggity.
Front row WICKED is also difficult to top.
A revisit to the beach, and a happy night despite missing closing time for Japantown and getting my favorite Sophie’s Crepes and Purikura.
I love you, mack siu.
Baby, I love you.
But I don’t want to spend every day with you.
I hope you understand.
I don’t want to be a girl that just waits for her boy.
I want to be the girl that saves the world.
On her own.